In Old Mexico - Tom Lehrer

When it's fiesta time in Guadalajara

Then I long to be back once again

In Old Mexico

Where we lived for today

Never giving a thought to tomorrow

To the strumming of guitars

In a hundred grubby bars

I would whisper Te amo

The mariachis would serenade

And they would not shut up

Till they were paid

We ate we drank and we were merry

And we got typhoid and dysentery

But best of all

We went to the Plaza de Toros

Now whenever I start feeling morose

I revive by recalling that scene

And names like Belmonte

Dominguin' and Manolete

If I live to a hundred and eighty

I shall never forget what they mean

For there is surely nothing

More beautiful in this

World than the sight of a lone man

Facing single handedly

A half a ton of angry pot roast

Out came the matador

Who must have been potted or

Slightly insane

But who looked rather bored

Then the picadors of course

Each one on his horse

I shouted Olé every time one was gored

I cheered at the banderilleros display

As they stuck the bull in their own clever way

For I hadn't had so much fun since the day

My brother's dog Rover

Got run over

Rover was killed by a Pontiac

And it was done

With such grace and artistry

That the witnesses awarded the

Driver both ears

And the tail

But I digress

The moment had come

I swallowed my gum

We knew there'd be blood

On the sand pretty soon

The crowd held it's breath

Hoping that death

Would brighten an otherwise dull afternoon

At last

The matador did what we wanted him to

He raised his sword

And his aim was true

In that moment of truth

I suddenly knew

That someone had stolen my wallet

Now it's fiesta time in Akron Ohio

But it's back to old Guadalajara

I'm longing to go

Far away from the strikes of

The A F of L and C I O

How I wish I could get back

To the land of the wetback

And forget the Alamo

In Old Mexico

Olé