Jilted John (as made famous by Jilted John) - Hilarious Hit Makers

I've been going out with a girl

Her name is Julie

But last night she said to me

When we were watching telly

(This is what she said)

She said listen John I love you

But there's this bloke I fancy

I don't want to two time you

So it's the end for you and me

Who's this bloke I asked her

Goooooordon she replied

Not THAT puff I said dismayed

Yes but he's no puff she cried

(He's more of a man than you'll ever be)

Here we go two three four

I was so upset that I cried

All the way to the chip shop

When I came out there was Gordon

Standing at the bus stop

And guess who was with him Yeah Julie

And they were both laughing at me

Oh she is cruel and heartless

To pack me for Gordon

Just cos he's better looking than me

Just cos he's cool and trendy

But I know he's a moron Gordon is a moron

Gordon is a moron Gordon is a moron

Here we go two three four

Oh she's a slag and he's a creep

She's a tart he's very cheap

She is a slut he thinks he's tough

She is a b**ch he is a puff

Yeah yeah it's not fair

Yeah yeah it's not fair

(I'm so upset)

I'm so upset I'm so upset yeah yeah

(I ought to smash his face in )

(Yeah but he's bigger than me In't he )

(I know I'll get my mate Barry to hit him He'd flatten him)

(Yeah but Barry's a mate of Gordon's in'e )

(Oh well I don't care)

I don't care

I don't care