Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '99 Wear sunscreen

If I could offer you one tip for the future sunscreen

Would be it The

Long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by

Scientists whereas the

Rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my

Own meandering

Experience I will dispense this advice now

Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) - Various Artists

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh

Nevermind you will not

Understand the power and beauty of your youth until

They've faded But trust

Me in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself

And recall in a way

You can't grasp now how much possibility lay before

You and how fabulous

You really looked You are NOT as fat as you imagine

Don't worry about the future; or worry but know that

Worrying is as

Effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by

Chewing bubblegum The

Real toubles in life are apt to be things that never

Crossed your worried

Mind; the kind the blindside you at 4pm on some idle

Tuesday

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don't be reckless with other peoples hearts Don't

Put up with people who

Are reckless with yours

Floss

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're

Ahead sometimes you're

Behind The race is long and in the end it's only with

Yourself

Remember compliments you receive Forget the

Insults If you suceed in doing

This tell me how

Keep your old love letters Throw away your old bank

Statements

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do

With your life

The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22

What they wanted to do

With their lives some of the most interesting 40 year

Olds I know still

Don't

Get plenty of calcium

Be kind to your knees you'll miss them when they're

Gone

Maybe you'll marry maybe you won't Maybe you'll

Have children maybe you

Won't Maybe you'll divorce at 40 Maybe you'll dance

The funky chicken on

Your 75th wedding anniversary Whatever you do

Don't congratulate

Yourself too much or berate yourself either - your

Choices are half chance

So are everybody else's

Enjoy your body use it every way you can don't be

Afraid of it or what

Other people think of it it's the greatest instrument

You'll ever own

Dance even if you have nowhere else to do it but in

Your own living room

Read the directions even if you don't follow them

Do NOT read beauty magazines they will only make

You feel UGLY

Get to know your parents you never know when they

Might be gone for good

Be nice to your siblings; They're your best link to your

Past and the

People most likely to stick with you in the future

Understand that friends come and go except for the

Precious few you should

Hold on Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography

And lifestyle because the

Older you get the more you need the people you knew

When you were young

Live in New York City once but leave before it makes

You hard Live in

Northern California once but leave before it makes

You soft

Travel

Accept certain inalienable truths Prices will rise

Politicians will

Philander you too will get old And when you do you'll

Fantasize that when

You were young prices were reasonable politicians

Were noble and children

Respected their elders

Respect your elders

Don't expect anyone else to support you Maybe

You'll have a trust fund

Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never

Know when either one might

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're

40 it will look 85

Be careful whose advice you buy but be patient with

Those who supply it

Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of

Fishing the past

From the disposal wiping it off painting over the ugly

Parts and

Recycling it for more than it's worth

But trust me on the sunscreen