Now here's a little story

To tell it is a must

About an unsung hero

That moves away your dust

Some people make a fortune

Other's earn a mint

My old man don't earn much

In fact he's flippin' skint

Oh my old man's a dustman

He wears a dustman's hat

He wears cor blimey trousers

And he lives in a council flat

He looks a proper narner

In his great big hob nailed boots

He's got such a job to pull em up

That he calls them daisy roots

Some folks give tips at Christmas

And some of them forget

So when he picks their bins up

He spills some on the steps

Now one old man got nasty

And to the council wrote

Next time my old man went 'round there

He punched him up the throat

Oh my old man's a dustman

He wears a dustman's hat

He wears cor blimey trousers

And he lives in a council flat

I say I say Duncan

I 'er I found a police dog in my dustbin

How do you know he's a police dog

He had a policeman with him

Though my old man's a dustman

He's got a heart of gold

He got married recently

Though he's 86 years old

We said 'Ear Hang on Dad

You're getting past your prime'

He said 'Well when you get to my age'

'It helps to pass the time'

Oh my old man's a dustman

He wears a dustman's hat

He wears cor blimey trousers

And he lives in a council flat

I say I say I say

My dustbins full of lillies

Well throw 'em away then

I can't Lilly's wearing them

Now one day while in a hurry

He missed a lady's bin

He hadn't gone but a few yards

When she chased after him

'What game do you think you're playing'

She cried right from the heart

'You've missed me am I too late'

'No jump up on the cart'

Oh my old man's a dustman

He wears a dustman's hat

He wears cor blimey trousers

And he lives in a council flat

I say I say I say What you again

My dustbin's absolutely full with toadstools

How do you know it's full

'Cos there's not much room inside

He found a tiger's head one day

Nailed to a piece of wood

The tiger looked quite miserable

But I suppose it should

Just then from out a window

A voice began to wail

He said Oi Where's me tiger head

Four foot from it's tail

Oh my old man's a dustman

He wears a dustman's hat

He wears cor blimey trousers

And he lives in a council flat

Next time you see a dustman

Looking all pale and sad

Don't kick him in the dustbin

It might be my old dad