Scarlet Pimpernel (LP版) - Douglas Sills
La love me such conjecturing could drive a man insane
And I'm the one to set
This gossip quite to rest
The pimpernel is me
Indeed and I'm the queen of Spain
What the pimpernel is nothing
But a nosy pest
No the vicar says the pimpernel's a bishop in disguise
Who gives absolution
Night and day
Stuff and nonsense don't you know
He's a maharajah from Bombay
They say he has enormous feet
And that he tends to overeat
I've heard he's fussy with his food
And eats his breakfast in the nude
Is he robust or very pale
At least we know he's male
Who is the scarlet pimpernel
Me sister says his breath is sweeter than an Irish rose
I'm sure I'd fall in love if he would cross my path
La yes she you could overlook
The warts upon his else
And possibly persuade him
He should take a bath
Rumor has it he's castillian
He's a reckless buckeneer
And I hear he carries several whips several whips
He's a sultan from Kabul
With women at his fingertips
They say he's nearly eight feet tall
And yet quite graceful
Folderal
I'm told he waddles when he walks
And often twitches when he talks
Is he a dolt
He's very deep
Oh England's losing sleep
Who is this blasted pimpernel
The butcher in the village claims he saw the man last week where
Galloping a camel cross the moor
He's been seen
Wearing full blarney green
I've told you all before
The fellas me
It's George the third
Perhaps a convict run amok
This pimpernel could be most any sod oh dad
Bite your tongue
He is dashing and young
The pimpernel's a god
And he'll find me
And he'll wake me
And he'll take me
Down on a haystack
He'll face me
Then at last you could tell
If he's a hero or a monk
A fiddling Nero or a drunk
Who is the scarlet pimpernel
It's me it's me
I'm sure he's flatulent and crass
Here here the man's a horse's
No no he is neighbourly and kind
But quite erotically inclined
Whatever guise he may employ
He's England's pride and joy
This plucky non pareil
Is lucky bloody swell
Who is the Scarlet Pimpernel