The Winkle Man - Judge Dread

"I'll tell you a story about

A geezer called the Winkle Man

A right dirty sod

The Winkle Man comes down the street

And serves all the ladys

What do you know nine months on

They've all got cramps and babys

"The funny thing about

He was right little shrimp "

He used to sell them cellary

And according to the dirty talk

He asked them what they liked best:

The knob end or the stalk

"No wonder why a woman used

To come in here with a smile on her face

I'll smash his face in "

He'd go down to his local pub

For a pint and a packet of Brisk's

The barmaid's got a 48

And he always grabs her tits

Like coconuts

A girl he had was a noisy bird

She used to scream and moan

She shouted 'help ' He said 'you silly cow

I can manage on me own'

"What do you want to bring

The neighbors in then

Oh what do you want

A gang bang then "

She said 'I was a virgin

Now I've been dumped twice in a day'

He said 'Twice

But it's only once'

She said 'right

You gonna dash away '

"Allright be gentle with me

It's only my second time

Today"

When he was young and in his prime

He'd have a woman any old time

Now he's old and getting gray

He seems to like the other way

"Well I suppose there's no harm

In him being a shirt-lifter

It just means there's more birds

For all the fellows in the pub "

"Winkle Winkle "

"Oh christ here he comes again

Gay boys in bondage

Do you want a drink "

"Yes please sailor"

"Who are you calling sailor

I'll smash you in the gut "

"Up your's butch "

"I'll give you up your's You

Bum burgler Take that