They Can't Fool Me - George Formby

Now I've a simple nature

Some folk think I'm dense

They think I'm slow

But I can show that I've got common sense

We come from monkeys yes alas

Some say we've reached a lower class

But each time I look in the glass

They can't fool me

At hunt the button fun I get

Some girls are very cute and yet

I find it every time you bet

They can't fool me

I'm no wise guy still I get along

I may not know my left from right

But I do know right from wrong

Two old maids said in our flat

"Since last night there's been a rat "

I said "Give him his coat and hat

Oh you can't fool me "

My pal puts Violet in his bath

Vi-o-let that makes me laugh

I've found where Violet lives not half

You can't fool me

She giggles when he hugs her tight

When she's kissed she laughs outright

She had convulsions late last night

They can't fool me

I'm no wise guy still I get along

I may not know my left from right

But I do know right from wrong

There's a baby born they say

Every clock tick that's O K

I bought a sundial yesterday

They can't fool me

I've bought a house the terms are fine

Weekly payments three and nine

In a hundred years the house is mine

Oh they can't fool me

Every night a girl named Joyce

Walks for miles but not for choice

She rides home in a swell Rolls Royce

Oh they can't fool me

I'm no wise guy still I get along

I may not know my left from right

But I do know right from wrong

To France a honeymooning pair

Went to see what it's like there

But it's no different anywhere

They can't fool me