Today boys and girls we have a special speaker in the house tonight

And he's gonna teach you about life and death

I was born a God d**n failure

Dropped outta school at mitalia

Found me a nickel and lost a dime

My whole life story came true in a rhyme

I don't know what the f**k was on my mind

I tried suicide 4 or 5 times

Tryed to take a whiff into wrist but it didn't work

And it seems I'm the only one that's gettin' hurt

Now I gotta bullet and a chain and I'm fulla sweat

I decide to play a game of Russian Roulette

Click click click I guess I loose I didn't win

So I decide to do it again and again

Now it's gettin' borin' 'cause I keep on loosin'

I guess I'm kinda cruisin' for a bruisin'

Then I take a knife and put a 6 in my head

3 times then I say I wish I was dead

Blood drippin' off my forehead

And then I'm lyin' in my deathbed but I'm not dead

I gotta headache so I'm gettin' somethin' for it see

I take some Tylenols about 23

So what you wanna follow me

I got 13 ways to commit suicide

Who would like to hang from a tree

I would I would then listen close to me

You get some sturdy rope and put it 'round your neck

Tie a real good knot or the s**t won't work

It's best to put it in a noose

Just incase you have second thoughts you can't get loose

Now we're at number 6

This a real goody no special effects or countertricks

Tie a big rock to your foot no mistakes

Then jump your a*s in a deep lake

Get yourself some gas then drink that s**t

Then drink some more then you smoke the cigarette

Or better yet get real drunk and take a real long drive

On the freeway down the wrong side

Brother you're bound to make a hit

It's like lettin' a pitbull suck a d**k

So if you wanna follow me

I got 13 ways to commit suicide

Now we're on number 11

Did you know suicidalists didn't go to heaven

'No where they go man take another guess

Matter fact take another suicidal test

This is what you do man

Go jump your monkey a*s off a real tall building

And then you live through that one

You get reincarnated mean you get to come back son

But I seriously doubt that

'Cause you been tryin' to kill yourself you don't give a s**t about that

All you wanna do is die

Maybe motherf**kers kill themselves but don't know why

But I know why I'm teachin' you this

Why Should you have to kill yourself you don't miss

To prevent a miss you put a gun in your mouth

And blow your f**kin' brains out

F**k your mommy f**k your daddy nobody cares

Look how they treated you over the years

What you oughta do is kill them then you

A suicidalist dream come true

So if you wanna follow me

I got 13 ways to commit suicide