Anatole Of Paris - Danny Kaye/The Andrews Sisters/Trudy Stevens

It all began when I was born a month too soon

My ma was frightened by a runaway saloon

Pa was forced to be a hobo

Because he played the oboe

And the oboe it is clearly understood

Is an ill wind that no one blows good

I'll never forget the morning that grandpa ate the awning

To impress a pretty lady who went for men that were shady

Then my uncle josia lit the chicago fire

Ran off to hawaii with the o'leary cow

Which his loving wife resented and there upon invented

A rolling pin that strikes and then says pow

And I'm the result of the twisted eugenics

Of this family of inbred schizophrenics

The end of a long long line of bats

I design women's hats

I'm anatole of paris

I shriek with chic

My hat of the week

Cause 6 divorces 3 runaway horses

I'm anatole of paris

The hats I sell make husbands yell

Is that a hat or a two room flat

Let me get my paw on a little piece of straw

And viola

A chapeau at 60 bucks a throw

It's how I pull and chew on it

The little things I do on it

Like placing yards of lacing or a bicycle built for two on it

The little ones the big ones

The sat on by a pig ones

The foolish ones that perch

And the ghoulish ones that lurch

The one called whisky sour

Designed for the cocktail hour

A little snip a potato chip

And a trifle off the eiffle tower

I'm anatole of paris I must design

I'm just like wine

I go to your head

Give me thread and the needle

I itch I twitch to stitch

I'm a glutton for cutting

For putting with a button

To snip and pluck nip and tuck

Fix and trim plan the brim

Tote that barge lift that bail

I'm a glutton for cutting

For putting with a button

To snip and pluck nip and tuck

Fix and trim plan the brim

Tote that barge lift that bail

And why do I sew each new chapeau

With a style they most look positively grim in

Strictly between us entre nous

I hate women