(The Legend of) Miss Blatimore Crabs (From "Hairspray") - Platinum Collection Band

Well i brought my own 45s

So if you put em on i'll show you my stuff

Haven't you already shown us enough

Oh my god how times have changed

This girl's either blind or completely deranged

Ah but time seemed to halt

When i was miss baltimore crabs

Childhood dreams for me were cracked

When that damn shirley temple stole my freaking act

But the crown's in the vault

From when i won miss baltimore crabs

Those poor runner ups might still hold some grudges

They padded their cups but i screwed the judges

Those broads thought they'd win

If a plate they would spin in their dance

Not a chance

Cause i hit the stage batons ablaze

While belting high c's and preparing souffles

But that triple somersault

Was how i clinched miss baltimore crabs

Proceed

Are you scared we're on live

No i'm sure i can cope

Well this show isn't broadcast in

Cinema scope

I never drank one chocolate malt

No no desserts for miss baltimore crabs

How many sweaters do you own

Well i'm sure i've got plenty

Let's see i have three five wait i have twenty

I would say oy gevalt

If i wasn't miss baltimore crabs

A tycoon i wed so cuddly and funny

The old fart dropped dead

But left tons of money

So i bought this station

So all of the nation could see

Baby amber and me

Do you dance like you dress

Amber there's no need to be cruel

Would you swim in an integrated pool

I sure would i'm all for integration

It's the new frontier

Not in baltimore it isn't and may i be frank

First impressions can be tough

And when i saw you i knew it

If your size weren't enough

Your last answer just blew it

And so my dear so short and stout

You'll never be in

So we're kicking you out

You can't get past me kid

But it isn't your fault

It's hard to get rid of miss baltimore crabs

You may go

Um thank you

Gee tracy that went well

Hello may i please audition

No but you can bow and exalt

Cause i was miss baltimore crabs crabs crabs crabs