A Lap Dance Is so Much Better When the Stripper Is Crying - The Karaoke Channel (卡拉OK频道)

(In the Style of Bloodhound Gang) Karaoke Lead Vocal Version

I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night

I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's hump palace looking for love

It had been a while in fact three hundred and sixty-five had come

And went since that midnight run hauling hog to shakey town on I-10

I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweating gallons

Through a pair of daisy duke cut-offs

And one of those fruit of the loom Tank-tops

Well that night I lost myself to ruby red lips

Milky white skin and baby blue eyes name was Russell

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

Well I find it's quite a thrill when she grinds me against her will

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

Well faster than you can say shallow grave

This pretty little thing come up to me

And starts kneading my balls like hard boiled eggs in a tube sock

Said her name was Bambi and I said

"Well that's a Coincidence darling

Cause I was just thinking about skinning you like a Deer"

Well she smiled had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern

And I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask

As I do my little kooky dance and then she told me to shush

I guess she could sense my desperation

Of course it's hard to hide a hard-on

When you're dressed like Minnie Pearl

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

Well I find it's quite a thrill when she grinds me against her will

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

So Bambi's going on about how she can make

All my fantasies come true

So I says "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is Jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo

Hole with a lawn dart

As Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a

Cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum "

Well ten beers twenty minutes and thirty dollars later

I'm parkin' the beef bus in Tuna Town if you know what I mean

Got to nail her back at her trailer

Heh that rhymes I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on

When I found out she was doing me to buy baby formula

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

Well I find it's quite a thrill when she grinds me against her will

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch

Gave the tranny a spin and slid on into the

Stinky pinky gulp n guzzle big rig snooze-a-stop

There I was browsing through the latest issue of Throb

When I saw Bambi staring at me from the back of the milk carton

Well my heart just dropped

So I decided to do what any good Christian would

You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold

A half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher

When your doing seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler

I never thought missing children could be so sexy

Did I say that out loud

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

Well I find it's quite a thrill when she grinds me against her will

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying