And now to the love song

I'm sure you're familiar

With love songs on the order of

"He's just my bill" " My man"

" My joe" " My max"

And so on where the girl

Who sings them tells you that

Although the man she loves

Is antisocial alcoholic physically

Repulsive or just plain unsanitary

That nevertheless she is

His because he is hers and like that

But as far as I know

There has never been a popular song from

The analogous male point of view

That is to say of a man who

Finds himself in love with or

In this case married to a girl

Who has nothing whatsoever to recommend her

I have attempted to

Fill this need The song is called "She's my girl"

Sharks gotta swim and bats gotta fly

I gotta love one woman till I die

To ed or dick or bob

She may be just a slob

But to me well

She's my girl

In winter the bedroom is one large ice cube

And she squeezes the toothpaste

From the middle of the tube

Her hairs in the sink

Have driven me to drink

But she's my girl she's my girl she's my girl

And I love her

The girl that I lament for

The girl my money's spent for

The girl my back is bent for

The girl I owe the rent for

The girl I gave up lent for

Is the girl that heaven meant for me

So though for breakfast

She makes coffee that tastes like sham poo

I come home for dinner

And get peanut butter stew

Or if I'm in luck

It's broiled hockey puck

But oh well what the hell

She's my girl

And I love her

She's My Girl - Tom Lehrer