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张培基英译散文赏析之《我坐了木船》(下)

我坐了木船I Took a Wooden Boat

叶圣陶Ye Shengtao

| 译文摘自张培基《英译中国散文选一》

票子到手,身分可以改变了,什么机关的部属,什么长的秘书,什么人的本人或是父亲,或者姓名仍旧,或者必须改名换姓,总之要与你自己暂时脱离关系。
Once with a ticket in hand, your status automatically changes. You can now call yourself the employee of certain government office or certain official's secretary. You can call yourself so-and-so or so-and-so's father. You can either keep your original name or have it changed. In short, you must temporarily break off relations with your old self.

要点:
1, so-and-so=(指叫不上名字的人、物,或泛指)某某人(或事物)
2, “或者姓名仍旧,或者必须改名换姓”,这两个分句中“姓名”是共同的部分,可以以此来将两个分句串成一个句子,译为You can either keep your original name or have it changed.
3, Break off多指断绝关系
4, old self意为“旧我”,很文艺的说法~

综述:本段汉语分句较多,英译时要根据意思进行断句~

最有味的是冒充什么部的士兵,非但改名换姓,还得穿上灰布棉军服,腰间束条皮带。
The funniest thing is when you try to pass for a soldier of a certain army unit, you must not only have your name changed, but also wear a grey-cloth cotton-padded army uniform with a leather belt around your waist.

要点:
1,“最有味的是冒充什么部的士兵”译为The funniest thing is when you try to pass for a soldier of a certain army unit,其中to pass for作“冒充”的意思,如:The copy he made of the painting can pass for an authentic one.
他临摹的画足以乱真。
2,“穿上灰布棉军服,腰间束条皮带”译作wear a grey-cloth cotton-padded army uniform with a leather belt around your waist.多动词时,将主要动词译为谓语,非主要动词译为从句,非谓语,介词结构~说三遍啊说三遍

综述:之所以把这句单独列出,是想让小伙伴们再回想一下多动词句的译法~不要再抠着脚想“束根皮带”怎么译了…

我听了这些,就死了请托找关系的念头。即使饿得要死,也不定要去奉承颜色谋差使,为了一张票子去求教人家,不说我自己犯不着,人家也太费心。
All that kills my idea of soliciting help or seeking personal connections. I disdain to go humbly begging for a job even when I am starving, let alone to go asking for other people's help in getting me a mere ticket. Neither is it necessary for me to go to all that trouble, nor should I bother other people for that matter.

要点:
1,“我听了这些,就死了请托找关系的念头”这里译者转换主语,巧妙地将“死了找关系的念头”译了出来,如果是以“我”做主语,“死了念头”势必要转换说法,译文传情达意的效果必然会减少~
2,go begging for=go asking for意为请求,寻求
3,“不说我自己犯不着,人家也太费心。”译为Neither is it necessary for me to go to all that trouble, nor should I bother other people for that matter.这里表示“既不…也不…”的倒装句式neither… nor…需要积累起来哦~如三笔教材中有一句:中国不同任何大国或国家集团结盟,不搞军事集团,不参加军备竞赛,不进行军备扩张。译为China does not form an alliance with any big power or group of big powers. Nor does China establish military blocs with other countries, or engage in arm race and military expansion. 可见,多个“不”连用时,第一个用否定词,其后用nor ,or连接~以后我们还会遇到其他形式哦~

综述:本句主要分析了表示多个否定时我们常用的句型~

重庆的路又那么难走,公共汽车站排队往往等上一个半钟头,天天为了票子去跑,实在吃不消。再说与自己暂时脱离关系,换上他人的身分,虽然人家不大爱惜名气,我可不愿滥用那些名气。我不是部属,不是秘书,不是某人,不是某人的父亲,我是我。我毫无成就,样样不长进,我可不愿与任何人易地而处,无论长期的或是暂时的。为了走一趟路,必须易地而处,在我总觉着像被剥夺了什么似的。
Going around is hard in the city of Chongqing. You have to queue up for at least 30 minutes or more to get on a bus. It would really be too much for me to go about for the ticket every day. As to the temporary divorce from my old self and the concealing of my identity, I hate to usurp all those designations though other people may think otherwise. I'm neither a government employee, nor a secretary, nor so-and-so, nor so-and-so's father. I am myself. I am just an ordinary man with no urge to do better, so I hate to change places with anybody else, whether for a while or for good. To change places just for the sake of a trip would make me feel like being deprived.

要点:
1,“重庆的路又那么难走”译为Going around is hard in the city of Chongqing.此处译者在翻译时再次转换说法,这种手法在本文着实常见啊常见,童鞋们要多体会这种方法带来的好处~
2,“实在吃不消”=too much,又是反话正译~
3,queue up=line up意为“排队”,还有几个比较生动的表达,如:wait/stand in line, wait your turn等~
4,or more意为“或…以上”,还有一个长得和它差不多的or so意为“大约,左右;与其说…不如说…”
5,“我不是部属,不是秘书,不是某人,不是某人的父亲”当当当当~多个否定又来了,译法参见上面\(^o^)/~
5,with no urge to do better字面上意思是“没有座的更好的欲望”,其实就是没有上进心嘛~大师把这么堕落的一件事说得如此文雅我也是醉了+_+
6,for the sake of意为“为了”,还记得在《中年人的寂寞》里的那个“无所为”是怎么译的吗~~是for its own sake,当时还举了其他的一些栗子,不记得的快去面壁╮(╯_╰)╭

综述:本段有很多对于之前知识点的回顾,童鞋们要注意联系总结,记住,只有你总结出来的东西才是自己的~

至于穿灰布棉衣更为难了,为了走一趟路才穿上那套衣服,岂不亵渎了那套衣服?亵渎的人固然不少,我可总不忍——这一套又是书生之见。
Wouldn't it be sinful for me to wear the grey-cloth cotton-padded army uniform for nothing more than making a single trip? Though many other people violate the taboo, I for my part cannot bear to do the same. This again is the impractical view of a bookish person.

要点:
1,“岂不…”=“难道不”又是反问句,此处译为一般疑问句=Wouldn't it…?此外有时可根据语境译为isn’t/aren’t/don’t…?如:Don't you know Jim works as a dish washer at a restaurant around the corner?
你难道不知道Jim在拐角处的一个饭店做刷盘子的工作吗?
此外,“岂不”也可直接译为陈述句,如:以随身之物作赌注岂不更合适。
It would be fitting to bet something personal.
2,“亵渎”即“轻慢,冒失”,用在此处略带讽刺口气,,译为“做了不该做的事”,故译为sinful

综述:本段重点是反问句的译法~在英译汉时也是一个难点

抱着书生之见,我决定坐木船。木船比不上轮船,更比不上飞机,千真万确。可是绝对不用找关系,也无所谓黑票。
It was with this impractical view that I decided to take a wooden boat. It is absolutely true that a wooden boat cannot compare with a steamer, much less an airplane. But there is no need for soliciting help or seeking personal connections, nor the need for the so-called "black" ticket.

要点:
1,“比不上…更比不上…”=cannot compare with …,much less…其中much less=still less,意为“更不用说,更少,何况”如《中年人的寂寞》中“至于三十岁四十岁以后的朋友中间,颜色分子愈多,友谊分子不免也就愈少了”=And friendship among those aged over 30 becomes correspondingly still less pure as it gets even more coloured.
2,“千真万确”属于表态度,评论性的词,汉语中习惯后置,而英语中习惯前置,此句就是一个很好的栗子~
3, “不用找关系,也无所谓黑票”,多个否定,小伙伴nor又出现了,第三次了哦,说明它是重要的事情(⊙v⊙)嗯

综述:注意much less的用法和第二点中的“事实评论的关系”~

你要船,找运输行,或者自己到码头上去找,找着了,言明价钱,多少钱坐到汉口,每块钱花得明明白白。在这一点上,我觉得木船好极了,我可以不说一句讨情的话,不看一副难看的嘴脸,堂堂正正的凭我的身分东西归。这是大多数坐轮船坐飞机的朋友办不到的,我可有这种骄傲。
All you need to do is contact the transport company, or go direct to the wharf to look for a wooden boat. Once you have located it, you will know what the fare is from Chongqing to Hankou, and every dollar will be paid for what it is worth, no more, no less. I find the wooden boat super in this respect. I am saved the humiliation of begging for help or the need of confronting the nasty look on somebody's face. I can travel with my true identity. This is something quite beyond the majority of those travelling by steamer or aircraft. I am proud of it.

要点:
1“每块钱花得明明白白”=“每块钱花得都值得”译为every dollar will be paid for what it is worth,
2,super=“顶好的,极好的”(没错,就是小主说的那个~
3,saved the humiliation of=使免于遭受…的耻辱
5, be beyond sb=非某人所能及,之前我们还说了一个beyond one’s capacity to do,这两个表述有时可互换

综述:句首的“你要船”译者在此略去未译,因为其意思已经融合在上下文中了

决定了之后,有两位朋友特来劝阻,一位从李家沱,一位从柏滨,不怕水程跋涉,为的是关爱我,瞧得起我。他们说了种种理由,预想了种种可能的障害,结末说,还是再考虑一下的好。
After I had made up my mind, two friends of mine, in spite of the difficult boat journey all the way from Li Jia Tuo and Bai Bin respectively, came to dissuade me from taking the wooden boat out of concern and respect for me. They enumerated various reasons against my decision as well as various possible mishaps, advising me in the end to re-consider the matter.

要点:
1, all the way=从远处,从老远,特地
2, “决定了之后,有两位朋友特来劝阻,一位从李家沱,一位从柏滨,不怕水程跋涉,为的是关爱我,瞧得起我。”此句分句众多,要先抽出主要部分即“我的两位好友劝我不要坐木船”。译者巧妙地将“一位从李家沱,一位从柏滨,不怕水程跋涉”译为“in spite of the difficult boat journey all the way from Li Jia Tuo and Bai Bin respectively”,合并成了一句,避免了行文冗长杂乱。
3, 根据上下文推断,此处的“为的是”表的是原因,因此译为out of,
要不说中文博大精深呢,同一个词在不同语境可以表达不同意思~

综述:注意译者翻译此句的多个分句时所用的调整语序技巧~

我真感谢他们,当然不敢说不必再行考虑,只好带玩笑的说,“吉人天相,”安慰他们激动的心情。现在,他们接到我平安到达的消息了,他们也真的安慰了。
I felt very grateful to them, and of course refrained from showing any reluctance to re-consider the matter. By way of allaying their anxiety, I said jokingly, "A good guy always enjoys Heaven's protection." Now, the subsequence news of my safe arrival in Hankou must have set their mind at rest.

要点:
1, “当然不敢说不必再考虑”=“当然我也不能说我不想再考虑了”,译为of course refrained from showing any reluctance to re-consider the matter.
2, By way of =by means of,表示“以/通过…的方式”
3, “他们接到我平安到达的消息”译为the subsequence news of my safe arrival in Hankou,又出现了the news of,上次我们见到这哥们是在《中年人》那篇文章中,“我每当听到一个旧友死去的消息…”译为the news of…可见the news of 可以表示“听到/接到…消息”等与“消息”有关的动词表述~

综述:此外,本段中的有两个“安慰”大家可以按同义词一起来记~

声明:本双语文章的中文评析系沪江英语原创内容,转载请注明出处。中文评析仅代表作者个人观点,仅供参考。如有不妥之处,欢迎指正。

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