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张培基英译散文赏析之《朋友》(下)

朋友Friends

巴金Ba Jin

| 译文摘自张培基《英译中国散文选一》

这一次我走了许多新地方,看见了许多新朋友。我的生活是忙碌的:忙着看,忙着听,忙着说,忙着走。但是我不曾遇到一点困难,朋友们给我准备好了一切,使我不会缺少什么。我每走到一个新地方,我就像回到我那个在上海被日本兵毁掉的旧居一样。
I visited many new places and met new friends on my recent trip. My time was mostly taken up by looking around, listening, talking and walking. But I never ran into any trouble because my friends had done their utmost to make sure that I would be short of nothing. Whatever new places I called at, I always felt at home as if I were back in my old residence in Shanghai which had been already been raged to the ground by Japanese troops.

要点:
1,“忙于做某事”又出新表述one’s time be taken up by doing
2,do one’s utmost意为“尽最大努力做某事”如:Whether win or not, the athletes have done their utmost.
无论输赢,运动员们都尽了最大努力。
3, 看这句“我每走到一个新地方,我就像回到我那个在上海被日本兵毁掉的旧居一样。”对!巴金老先生用这么多的“我”就不叫病句!但是你在翻译时就不能这么说!!译一个就好了~有很多名家的散文中用的语言在现在看来都是“不合法”的,但你要转换成合乎当代语法规则的表述,然后译,粗,来~

综述:无难点,注意以上总结的几点即可

每一个朋友,不管他自己的生活是怎样苦,怎样简单,也要慷慨地分一些东西给我,虽然明知道我不能够报答他。有些朋友,连他们的名字我以前也不知道,他们却关心我的健康,处处打听我的“病况”,直到他们看见了我那被日光晒黑了的脸和膀子,他们才放心地微笑了,这种情形的确值得人掉泪。
No matter how hard up and frugal my friends themselves were, they would unstintingly share with me whatever they had, although they knew I would not be able to repay them for their kindness. Some, whom I did not even know by name, showed concern over my health and went about inquiring after me. It was not until they saw my suntanned face and arms that they began to smile a smile of relief. All that was enough to move one to tears.

要点:
1, hard up(拮据的,手头紧的),frugal(节约的节省的)这里我们要注意它的同义词兄弟们:thrifty(也有兴旺的的含义),sparing, stingy(小气的,吝啬的),economical(经济的,实惠的,节约的),但是,在时政翻译中经常出现的“资源节约型社会”译为energy-saving/conserving~
2, 上一节表示慷慨的有bountiful, generous,现在unstintingly也可以加入这套豪华午餐了~
3,concern也是翻译中常见的一个词,此处show concern over sth 中concern 意为“关心,关切”如:He said school safety was a special concern of his organization.
他说学校安全是他的组织特别关心的事。

4,问起的健康情况;问起某人的生活等情况;打听=inquire after sb

综述:总结“节约的”“慷慨的”以及concern的用法

有人相信我不写文章就不能够生活。两个月以前,一个同情我的上海朋友寄稿到《广州民国日报》的副刊,说了许多关于我的生活的话。他也说我一天不写文章第二天就没有饭吃。这是不确实的。这次旅行就给我证明;即使我不再写一个字,朋友们也不肯让我冻馁。
Some people believe that, without writing, I would lose my livelihood. One of my sympathizers, in an article published two months ago in the Guangzhou Republic Daily Supplement, gives a full account of the conditions of my life. He also says that I would have nothing to live on once I should lay down my pen. That is not true at all. It has already been proved by recent travels that my friends would never let me suffer from cold and hunger even if I should go without writing a single word.

要点:
1,without writing, I would lose my livelihood.注意此处又是虚拟语气,
“不能够生活“=lose one’s livelihood,其中livelihood 译为“赚钱谋生的手段,生计”如:superstition employed deceptive, but money is the use of these activities as a means of livelihood.
迷信职业者不过是利用这些活动骗人钱财,作为一种谋生的手段。
一些政经类文章也把“民生”译为people’s livelihood~

2, “说了许多关于我的生活的话”意为“对我的生活情况作了全面描述”,因此译为give a full account of~大师转换说法的水平真是一流的~

3, “他也说我一天不写文章第二天就没有饭吃。”译为He also says that I would have nothing to live on once I should lay down my pen.其中“一天…第二天就…”在英文中用once表达即可。
4,“不写作”译为lay down my pen,
5,“没有饭吃”,采取意译法,译为have nothing to live on

综述:本段中继续有虚拟语气的出现哦~不熟悉的童鞋

世间还有许多慷慨的人,他们并不把自己个人和家庭看得异常重要,超过一切。靠了他们我才能够活到现在,而且靠了他们我还要活下去。
There are a great many kind-hearted people in the world who never attach undue importance to themselves and their own families and who never place themselves and their families above anything else. It is owing to them that I still survive and shall continue to survive for a long time to come.

要点:
1, 这里的慷慨又根据语境译为kind-hearted~
2, “他们并不把自己个人和家庭看得异常重要,超过一切”中的“超过一切”是来修饰“重要”的程度的,译文中将它们译成了两个定语从句,即who never attach undue importance to themselves and their own families and who never place themselves and their families above anything else

3, “把…看得重要”即“重视…”这个词在政府工作报告等非文学的翻译中也很常见,除了attach importance to之外,还可以用pay attention to, take…seriously; give priority to; put value on等表达。

4, “靠了他们我才能够活到现在,而且靠了他们我还要活下去。”其中的“靠了”意即“由于”,译为owe to,另外译者用了强调句型,意在突出“正是依靠朋友的帮助”这层含义。之前也有一句话中出现了“靠了”这个词,即“因为靠了它我才能够活到现在;而且把旧家庭给我留下的阴影扫除了的也正是它”,在这个句子中“因为”=“靠了”,只取其一译为because it has helped me keep alive up to now and clear away the shadow left on me by my old family.

5, for a long time to come意为“在今后很长的一段时间里”,这种带有“to come”的表述也是很常见~比如“在将来”怎么说?in the future?高级一点!in times to come!

综述:注意总结表“重视”的词组,以及“靠”的表达哦

朋友们给我的东西是太多、太多了。我将怎样报答他们呢?但是我知道他们是不需要报答的。

最近我在一个法国哲学家的书里读到了这样的话:“生命的一个条件就是消费……世间有一种不能跟生存分开的慷慨,要是没有了它,我们就会死,就会从内部干枯。我们必须开花。道德,无私心就是人生的花。”

I owe my friends many, many kindnesses. How can I repay them? But, I understand, they don’t need me to do that.

Recently I came across the following words in a book by a French philosopher:
One condition of life is consumption… Survival in this world is inseparable from generosity, without which we would perish and become dried-up from within. We must put forth flowers. Moral integrity and unselfishness are the flowers of life.

要点:

1,“朋友们给我的东西是太多、太多了。”=“我欠朋友的东西太多了”,译为I owe my friends many, many kindnesses.注意这里owe表示“欠(债,账)的用法。此外文中中的“东西”主要是指“帮助”侧重在精神方面,虽然也可译为things,,但不如kindness(=kind acts )贴切。
2,come across表偶然遇到,无意中发现,它可在不同语境下有多种引申义,如:
1)You've probably read some of these books, or at least come across major personal development ideas in magazines or online.(可能你已经读过其中一些书,或者至少在杂志或网上浏览过主要的个人发展观点)。
2)Perhaps I shall come across him in France.(也许我会在法国 遇见他)。
3,我们通常接触到的within,是其作为副词的含义,其实它也可以作为名词,意为“内部”,了解一个词的全部含义是多么重要~

在我的眼前开放着这么多的人生的花朵了。我的生命要到什么时候才会开花?难道我已经是“内部干枯”了吗?
一个朋友说过:“我若是灯,我就要用我的光明来照彻黑暗。”

我不配做一盏明灯。那么就让我做一块木柴罢。我愿意把我从太阳那里受到的热放散出来,我愿意把自己烧得粉身碎骨给人间添一点点温暖。

Now so many flowers of life are in full bloom before my eyes. When can my life put forth flowers? Am I already dried-up from within?

A friend of mine says, “If I were a lamp, I would illuminate darkness with my light.”
I, however, don’t qualify for a bright lamp. Let me be a piece of firewood instead. I’ll radiate the heat that I have absorbed from the sun. I’ll burn myself to ashes to provide this human world with a little warmth.

要点:

1,“难道我已经是“内部干枯”了吗?”是偶们之前说过的反问句。反问句一般有三种译法:译成一般疑问句,译成特殊疑问句,译为否定句。此处译成了一般疑问句~
2,put forth意为“长出(花,芽,叶)”如:At this time of the year all the chestnut trees put forth blossoms.每年这个时候栗子树都开花了。这个词的用处也很广,可以表示“发表,出版,提出”也可以表示“发挥”。
3,“不配做”意即“没有资格做”,译文用了qualify for,这个表述也很常见,可用be entitled to, be eligible for,如三笔实务中的一句“他们却不能像城镇居民一样享受基本的医疗保障”译为they were not entitled to the basic medical service as urban people were.

综述:反问句和“有资格做某事”在翻译中出现频率较高,要重点记忆~

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