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张培基英译散文赏析之《鸟巢》2

坐在窗前的写字台前伏案 工作,忽然听见“咕,咕,咕”的悦耳声音,抬头一望,原来是两只白色的鸽子站在窗外的窗沿上,正在亲昵地对话。我不愿惊扰它们,便静静地坐在那里,欣赏它 们的漂亮形体与温柔姿态。待它们亲热地谈得够了,就会转过小巧的头颅,用它们那双明亮的小眼睛,与我对视。每逢这时,我就很想告诉它们,我是多么地喜欢鸽 子,毕加索笔下的那只名鸽,其实远不如真实的鸽子美丽。我还会产生错觉,不知是这对鸽子还是自己,正住在“鸟巢”里,也不知我与它们是否同类。它们的小脑 袋里想些什么,我一无所知,反正是等到它们留连得够了,就展翅飞翔,飞回到属于它们自己的巢里,那个鸟巢比我的“鸟巢”平方米略少,不过也是悬在半空,悬 在对面那座塔楼的一家住户的阳台上。

Sometimes, sitting at my desk before the window, I will suddenly hear a soft cooing sound and, looking up, I find a pair of white doves billing and cooing on the outer windowsill. Unwilling to alarm them, I will sit quietly admiring their elegant shape and gentle carriage. At the end of their rendezvous, they will turn their heads and exchange stares with me, their tiny eyes glistening. I will, on such occasions, be very eager to let them know how I love doves and that the famous dove painted by Picasso is far less beautiful than real doves. I will feel confused as to who should be the real dweller of the “nest”—the pair of doves or me, and whether we are of the same kind. I don’t know what thoughts they have in their tiny brains. Anyway, after enjoying themselves to their heart’s content, they will fly back to the nest of their own. It is somewhat smaller than mine by several square meters, but it is also hanging in midair, over the balcony of a residence in the opposite tower building.

要点:

1,“正在亲昵地对话”未按字面意思直译,而采用成语billing and cooing(谈情说爱),简洁利落

2,“待它们亲热地谈得够了”依旧没有逐字直译,而是意译为At the end of their rendezvous,使行文简洁~而下面的“等到它们留连得够了”就译为了after enjoying themselves to their heart’s content,

除了鸽子之外,也有麻雀造访我的窗台。或者一只,或者两只,或者更多。它们叽叽喳喳,跳跳蹦蹦,全然不顾有人正从窗户的另一面望着它们,很像一群喜爱游玩的活泼孩子。它们的家不知筑在何处,好像比鸽子的家距离远些。

In addition to doves, sparrows also frequent my windowsill. They will come singly, in pairs or groups, chirping and hopping about like playful kids, totally impervious to any peeper behind the window. The whereabouts of their home is unknown, but apparently it is farther than that of doves.

要点:

1,“或者一只,或者两只,或者更多。”译为They will come singly, in pairs or groups…

2,这两段出现许多描写鸟叫的词如“咕咕”cooing “叽叽喳喳”chirping,后者是描写鸟叫声的常用词,注意积累~

3,“全然不顾有人正从窗户的另一面望着它们”可译为totally impervious to any peeper behind the window,较totally impervious to any onlooker on the other side of the window,更加简洁。

这些客人光顾我的“鸟巢”,让第17层的高空有了魅力。有时站在窗户里面向外望去,常常看见鸟儿们在窗外飞翔,这种景象使自己几乎忘记了是被围困在水泥筑成的方格子里。

The visit of these guests to my “nest” has lent great charm to the 17th floor. Often, when I see birds flying beyond my window, I will forget I am living in the prison cell of a cement-poured home.

要点:

1,“这种景象使自己几乎忘记了是被围困在水泥筑成的方格子里”译为I will forget I am living in the prison cell of a cement-poured home,其中the prison cell of a cement-poured home,意即“像牢房一般的水泥房子”,

可是,只要俯首下望,大城市的单调景色就会一目了然——马路很像一条灰色的带子,形形色色的汽车和无轨电车像大大小小的甲壳虫,慢慢地向前蠕动,很久才能走到视线之外。近处是深灰色的屋顶,远处是层层叠叠的楼群。

But, if I stoop to look down, I’ll see immediately how insipid the city is. The streets stretch like grey ribbons. It takes quite a while for cars of all descriptions and trolleybuses to move along slowly like beetles of various sizes until they are out of sight. Nearer in sight are dull grey rooftops, and farther on stand row upon row of buildings.

要点:

“近处是深灰色的屋顶,远处是层层叠叠的楼群。”译为Nearer in sight are dull grey rooftops, and farther on stand row upon row of buildings.,采用倒装句,是表方位的常用手法

绿色的树木像珍宝,令人 爱不释“目”,使人更加向往大自然。很想变成一只鸟,从这座“鸟巢”中飞出去,飞到森林中去,飞到大海边去,飞到崇山峻岭中去,飞到一切有花有草有树有 水,唯独没有水泥和汽车尾气的地方去,去享受一下没有污染的清新空气,去享受一下没有噪音的宁静氛围,去享受一下没有撒过漂白粉的清澈溪水,去寻找一个没有是非,没有烦扰,没有摩擦,没有争权夺利,没有勾心斗角,没有尔虞我诈的干净去处。

Green trees are so lovely that we can scarcely take our eyes off them. I wish I could become a bird so that I could fly off from this “nest” to the forest, the sea, the mountain, or to any place with flowers, grass, trees and water, but without cement and tail exhaust. It would be a place where I could enjoy unpolluted fresh air, quiet atmosphere free from noise-pollution, pure water from a limpid brook. It would be a clean space without discord, disturbance, friction, scramble for power and gain, intrigue and mutual deception. 

要点:

1,“爱不释’目’”由“爱不释手”(喜爱得舍不得放手)转化而来,译为we can scarcely take our eyes off them

2,“飞到森林中去,飞到大海边去,飞到崇山峻岭中去,飞到一切有花有草有树有水”句式重复,只译一次“飞到”即可~

3,“没有撒过漂白粉的清澈溪水”即“未被污染的清澈溪水”,译为pure water from a limpid brook

综述:

本篇语言生动,四字词较多,文学性强,注意句式和词语的灵活运用。

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