雅思大作文属于议论文,要求考生就某一问题提出观点并进行阐述和论证,旨在说服他人认同自己的观点。但是有些考生为了图省事,喜欢搜罗所谓的“万能模板”,无论碰到什么考题都去套用。这样写出来的文章就像是堆积在一起的豆腐块,思路不清,观点不明,前言不搭后语。那么如何在雅思大作文的写作中实现行云流水一般的效果?
雅思的评分标准已经详细地描述了对于连贯与衔接(Coherence and Cohesion)的要求。只要我们尽量依照这个标准写文章,就能最大程度地提高文章的流畅度。
9l uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention
l skillfully manages paragraphing
8l sequences information and ideas logically
l manages all aspects of cohesion well
l uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
7l logically organize information and ideas; Clear progression
l A range of cohesive devices appropriately in spite of some under-/ over-use
l Clear central topic within each paragraph
6l Arrange information and ideas coherently; a clear overall progression
l Uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
l may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
l uses paragraphing, but not always logically
5l present information with some organisation but there may be a lack of overall progression
l make inadequate, inaccurate or over-use of cohesive devices
l may be repetitive because of lack of referencing and substitution
l may not write in paragraphs, or paragraphing may be inadequate
连贯与衔接涵盖了四个方面的考量:
1 有逻辑有条理地组织论点
一篇文章只有一个立场,但是论点可以有几个。那么这几个论点如何排列,哪个在前哪个在后呢?这些是有讲究的,同学们不能想到哪写哪儿。下面的段落是学生的例文,其中就存在论点排列的问题
Although internet can contain much information in education, if under no control, it will be terrible, because young people cannot concentrate on their studies for hours, and the information online can be good and bad as well. If you allow your kids to learn only via the internet, they will play all day. So, studying without a teacher’s supervision cannot be imagined.
这段文字的中心内容是网络学习存在的问题。论点包括两个,学生的自律和网络的内容。关于学生自律的问题有两句话,young people cannot concentrate on their studies for hours,以及 If you allow your kids to learn only via the internet, they will play all day.这两句话有相关性,但是却被网络那句话隔开了。这样会给读者造成阅读的障碍,降低文章的流畅度。所以重新调整这几句话的位置,就可以很快解决这个问题。
Although internet can contain much information in education, if under no control, it will be terrible. Young people cannot concentrate on their studies for hours. If you allow your kids to learn only via the internet, they will play all day. And the information online can be good and bad as well. So, studying without a teacher’s supervision cannot be imagined.
2 连接手段使用得自然多样
论点之间如何连接?有哪些连接手段?下面这个段落的中心内容是看电视太多产生的问题,共有三个论点。所使用的连接手段是正确有效的,但是单一,少变化。每一个论点之间都使用了副词做连接词,而且都是在句首。
Watching TV too much can lead to a number of problems. Firstly, it is bad for children’s health. For example, they tend to have poor eyesight and a weak body. Secondly, if children spend too much time watching TV, they would have less opportunity to interact with their peers. This can contribute to their feeling of loneliness and isolation from the society. Last but not least, watching TV too long, children may become less active mentally because TV is considered as inactive activity by many researches.
下面的段落是对照版本。其中使用了代词,副词和形容词等多种连接手段,而且做到了自然衔接:
Watching TV too much can lead to a number of problems and the most obvious one is the negative impact on physical health of children. For example, they tend to have poor eyesight and a weak body.Another concern is about social development of children. If they spend too much time watching TV, they would have less opportunity to interact with their peers. This can contribute to their feeling of loneliness and isolation from the society. Children watching TV too long may also become less active mentally because TV is considered as inactive activity by many researches.
3 段落的中心内容与中心句
一个段落只有一个中心思想,这个中心思想通常会体现在一个总结性的句子当中,这句话叫做中心句。中心句在学术文章中常常落在段首,以方便阅读。中心句如同射击的靶子,要直指文章主题,这样后面的论点才不会偏离题目,因此非常重要。上面关于看电视太多的段落,中心句就写的非常明确。下面再给同学们一些句子,可以灵活应用于立论段,即证明自己观点的段落。
It is hard to argue with the fact that workers are the direct/ first beneficiaries of this working fashion.
There is no doubt that many employees would favour/welcome telework.
Statistics show that there are few things which impact the human mind more than mass media.
The mass media hold a large share of importance in society.
A life without the presence of mass media would seem improbable for many.
However, this does not mean that …
下面是一些可以用于让步段的中心句:
there are certainly some minor downsides in 。。。
I admit that … is not perfect.
I understand why some people oppose 。。。
Of course there are some opposite voices against 。。
the disapproving voices also sound reasonable.
It is natural to regard a university as a phase preparing for a future job…
the other side of the argument is also valid.
Surely pushing their children towards academic study makes sense for parents.
You cannot be honest without admitting ….
4 指示代词的准确使用
中文和英文在指示代词上有较大的区别。中文习惯重复名词,而英文则强调用代词。如‘我今天把钱包丢了,我那个钱包可好看了。’而相对应的英文表达是使用代词而不再重复钱包这个名词, ‘I lost my purse today, and it was so cute.’ 或者 ‘I lost my purse, which was so cute.’流畅度高的文章指示代词使用正确,指向清楚。下面这两句话当中有两个代词it,但是存在指代不清的问题:
Government’s investment is always the focus that people pay more attention to. Recently, itbecomes a controversy that whether it should support the athletes to join the worldwide competitions.
前一个it指代后面whether从句,后一个it指代government.为了理清关系,减少模糊,最好不用形式主语这个句型,而是直接把主语从句放在主语的位置上。修改如下:
Government’s budget is always the attention focus of the public. Whether it should support the athletes to join the worldwide competitions causes controversy.
以上是雅思写作评分标准中关于连贯与衔接的具体要求和应用举例。同学们按照这几个标准多实践,多体会,就会逐渐写出如行云流水一般的文章。
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