Why It’s OK to Ditch Work Social Events
为什么我们可以不参加工作中的社交活动
Maybe this is the case at your company. Or, maybe you’re looking to make friends in a new role and, every time you miss an event, you’re convinced that you’re losing a prime opportunity to lock those relationships down.
也许你的公司就是这种情况。或者，也许你刚换了新职位，想要结交朋友，每当你错过一个活动，都会觉得自己失去了一个巩固关系的绝佳机会。
But you shouldn’t ever feel like you have to make friends at the office or attend work social events at any cost.
但你不该觉得自己必须要在办公室交朋友，或者要不惜一切代价参加社交活动。
Sure, you could keep dragging yourself to events that you have no real interest in, but keeping this charade up is exhausting and not always productive. As long as you’re happy with the rest of your job, you feel respected, your ideas are heard, you enjoy the work you’re doing—it’s OK to let this one thing go.
当然，你可以继续逼着自己参加不感兴趣的活动，但一直这样伪装很累，而且并不总有成效。只要你对工作的其他方面满意，你感到受尊重，你的想法被聆听，你享受所做的工作，这件事情顺其自然就好。
Whether you’re three months or three years in, introverted or extroverted, looking to make friends or not, socializing with your co-workers should be something you choose to do. Having a good relationship with the people you work with is important for clear communication, productivity, and overall job satisfaction, but that relationship can simply be an in-the-office, professional kind.
无论你入职三个月还是三年，内向或外向，想不想要交朋友，与同事交往应该是你可以选择的事情。与合作伙伴建立良好的关系对清晰的沟通、生产力的提高和整体工作的满意度非常重要，但这种关系可以简化成一种工作上的、专业上的关系。
Yes, there are times when activities will be heavily encouraged, if not mandatory, like offsites, retreats, or networking events. And in these moments, you’re maybe sacrificing more than just social status by not participating—you’re missing out on a chance to get to know your colleagues, build a stronger team, or even do your job well. But most companies ultimately won’t force you to do something you truly don’t feel comfortable doing.
是的，有时候人们会被鼓励参加一些活动，如果不是强制性的，比如扩展活动、团建度假或社交活动。这时候，你不参加，除了丧失社会地位之外 - 错还过了一个了解同事、建设一个更强团队、甚至做好本职工作的机会。但多数公司最终都不会强迫你去做确实觉得不舒服的事情。
More importantly, the best bosses and co-workers (and work friends) understand that certain things come first, whether it’s family or hobbies or personal preferences. Chances are, there have also been plenty of instances when they’ve had to miss out on a team activity because something else was more important.
更重要的是，最好的老板和同事（以及工作上的朋友）明白有些事情更重要，无论是家庭，爱好还是个人偏好。可能有很多情况，他们不得不放弃参加团队活动，因为有其他更重要的事情。
How to Get Out of Your Next Work Social Event
如何摆脱下一个工作社交活动
Here’s the thing: I’m all too familiar with the difference between knowing you’re allowed to say “no” to work social events and actually having to break the news to your co-workers that you’re going to skip one.
重点来了：我很了解两种情形的区别。一种是你有权对社交活动说“不”，另一种是你要委婉地跟你的同事解释这次活动参加不了。
Sometimes peer pressure sets in and guilts you into attending, and you’re stuck doing something you really don’t want to do. While I can’t guarantee that won’t happen—some people might just continue to pester you or nag you about being a recluse—know that you can dodge their invites respectfully while still keeping the relationships intact.
有时候，来自同伴的压力会让你觉得不参加有负罪感，并且你会陷入窘境，去做一件真心不想做的事情。我不能保证不会有这种情况——有些人可能会继续缠着你或不停地唠叨不参加集体活动有多不好。而你要知道的是，你既可以礼貌地谢绝对方的邀请，又能不伤感情。
The key in any rejection is to not make it personal. Instead, focus on your decision and why you can’t or won’t join this time. For example, you can say, “Sounds like fun! Unfortunately, something’s come up: [family emergency or conflict]. Pencil me in for the next one?” or “You know I love hanging with you all, but if I’m being completely honest, [activity] isn’t my thing. I hope you have a blast, though!”
任何拒绝的关键都是不要主观化。相反，把重点放在你的决定或为什么不能或不会参加此次会议上。比如，你可以说，“听起来很有趣！不过，我临时有事：[家中有急事或闹别扭了]。我下一次参加，帮我记上啊！”或着“你知道的，我喜欢跟你们一起出去，但坦白讲，[活动]我不感兴趣。不过，我希望你玩儿嗨一点！”
Or, you can just skip the specifics, thank them, and politely decline: “Thanks for inviting me! I can’t make it, but have a great time!” or “Appreciate you including me, but I already have plans.” In most cases, they’ll accept your rejection and move on.
或者，你可以跳过具体细节，谢谢他们，然后礼貌地拒绝：“谢谢你邀请我！我去不了，你们玩儿得开心点！”或着“谢谢你邀请我，但我已经约了别的事。”多数情况下，对方会接受你的推辞，然后继续做他们的。
翻译：Claire
